February 12th, 2010
The Deaf Ear Listener
The President announced that he has scheduled a meeting with Republicans in Congress to air out their ideas on health reform. He also indicated that he will be using the newly released Bumco “Deaf Ear Listener” unit during the meeting to help get him through the meeting he described as “potentially excuciatingly boring and anti-productive”.
The Deaf Ear Listener(DEL) is an innovative new product that appears to be ideal for Democrats in government. It is a very small unit that fits snugly in each ear, camouflaged to look like excess ear wax buildup. The DEL effectively blocks the wearer from hearing any external sound, while a small chip inside the unit gently plays “The Best of Bread” songs inside his/her ears. It just came out and sells for $59.95 a set, but there is already a hefty order backlog.
Inside sources say that the President will maintain a pensive, thoughtful look on his face to make it look like he is actually listening to the Republicans. A reporter asked about what the President will do if someone asks him a question. “Simple,” the White House spokesman replied. “He will just give some canned response that will have nothing whatsoever to do with the question asked…basically just like he does now. It is doubtful that anyone will know the difference.”
The insider said it is important for it to look like the President is listening to contrary ideas, especially in front of cameras. “But at the same time, all that squealling and chattering could potentially stress the President out…may even cause him to lose his appetite at dinner. The DEL is an excellent choice to protect his health and well-being. More American ingenuity at work!”
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, even the ones that seem pretty real.
