January 26th, 2026
Walz on Cold Seat
Poor Governor Tim Walz. He has been under tremendous pressure in recent weeks for failing to provide adequate oversight as his state was improperly distributing Medicaid/Welfare funds. Hundreds of millions of dollars were found to be going to hokey fraudulent recipients while he was sleeping at the wheel. Makes him look like a total moron, especially in the eyes of the people who put their trust in the guy when they voted for him for VP. But Walz decided to take the offensive, by claiming that it’s all okay… because those frauds who grabbed the dough probably needed the money anyway. So, the millions are all going to a good cause.
But this latest ICE issue has got him really perplexed. His staff members have explained to him that they don’t want ICE in Minnesota.
“Yeah, I get it,” Governor Walz answered. “The last thing we need in Minnesota in January is more ICE. It’s cold enough here already. If the Federal government really wants to help, they should send us parkas, heating pads, and electric blankets. And, please send some gloves. I can’t hardly sign any new spending bills now because my fingers are stiff from being so damn cold. I’m halfway to frostbite in my right pinky. Forget ICE, send gloves.”
One staff member tried to correct him and told him the problem was with the Immigration and Customs Enforcement people who are here.
“I understand their concern,” Walz replied. “But let them get their own gloves.”
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction. Most of you already knew that.
