March 13th, 2018
Do Something
Bizarreville Toys and Timewasters announced today that they have stopped selling toy guns, toy knives, and toy slingshots at their store in Bizarreville. This is in wake of the recent incidents of violence at schools. Ray Shlonker, the store’s general manager, said it’s a small step but an important leap in order to “do something”. He hopes that the rest of the town will take this kind of initiative to do something, as well.
Some kids have voiced their disappointment in this action, noting that birthdays will not be the same without toy weapons in the mix of possible surprises at gift-opening time.
“You realize,” explained little Billy Smith, “that no massacres have ever happened by any little kid wielding a Lone Ranger toy rifle or a plastic Billy the Kid squirt pistol? This is going to end our funnest games: cops and robbers, cowboys and injuns, Martians against Earthlings, drug dealers versus other drug dealers. If they have to do something, why can’t they do something else?”
The jury is still out on what other irrelevant things that Bizarreville leaders will try, in order to claim that can/will Do Something. Some have suggested they ought to just lock up people who have gone nuts. Prison authorities say there is not enough room in the prison universe to house all the nutbags…unless they stack-up about 17 bags per cell. They say that the convicted murderers, in particular, get antsy when packed that tight.
The “Do Something” debate will go on…meanwhile Teddy Bears are on sale at Bizarreville Toys and Timewasters, and are expected to be a big hit.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, as far as we know.
