bizarreville

Recent poll results show that 74 percent of Americans feel that the country is headed in the wrong direction… pointing out worries about massive inflation, skyrocketing interest rates, the doubling of violent crime in cities, and over 2 million illegal immigrants entering the country from Mexico this year.  Citizens are suffering more than they have ever suffered in their lives.  Some have said they’d rather have COVID than have to deal with such incompetence in the leadership of the country.  Sadly, many people have gotten stuck with both.

The Administration has responded that everyone needs to buck-up, because it could be a whole lot worse.  There were times in the not-too-distant past where citizens had to deal with horse manure piling up in the streets, no fresh doughnuts, social pressure to smoke cigarettes, and going Bowling as your “big night out on the town.”  No one is making you go bowling now.

Pundits point out that the Administration just seems to be befuddled on what to do.  The current mess is not unlike the Jimmy Carter malaise years, whose team wrote the book on incompetent befuddlement.  Many of the President’s closest advisors now admit that they dozed through their Economics class in college, and never quite understood all those crazy Supply & Demand graphs that kept crossing over each other.  But they woke up when the left-wind professor described the wonderful benefits of taxing normal people out the ying-yang, while giving free rides to the social underbelly to even things out.

The Administration believes that focusing on increased taxes represents the least-bad path forward.  The advisors argue that if you levy high taxes on everyone, they will likely get so pissed-off that they will forget about all those other problems.

A minority of people still believe that the President will pick a path to get us back on our feet, citing that even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while.  They just need to make sure that the blind squirrel doesn’t get run over by the lawnmower during his dinner.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, at least when originally written.

There has been reporting about the Democrats’ fraudulent naming of the recent “Inflation Reduction Act” that was recently signed by the President.  Opponents correctly point out that the bill has nothing whatsoever to do with reducing inflation, and it is criminal for these rogue lawmakers to lie to people and fool them into believing that it would address inflation.  Even the liberal defenders of the huge spending act wink and smile about the naming.  But how does such deceit happen in a country that believes in truth and honesty?

Our intrepid reporters have gone underground and have discovered the story about how the bill was named.  Turns out, originally the bill was to be called The Greenie Whackos Payoff Act (GWPA).  This would have been a name that, frankly, would be 100 percent truthful and would have focused the public’s attention on the need to bolster support for the Climate Change fervor among the radical green-heads.  When the House leaders brought in the Greenie-Cause leaders to discuss the legislation, there was unhappiness about the name.  The Green leaders said the name made it sound like they were being bribed for providing support and cooking-up votes for the Democrats running for Congress.  It made them look bad, when all they were trying to do was save the planet from immediate self-destruction… especially important, since most of them pretty much knew they were ultimately headed for Satan’s Barbeque Party in the hereafter.

It looked like they were all at an impasse, when a low-level clerk brought in a newspaper which had a headline reading, “Inflation Currently at 40-year High.”  They quickly read the story, then decided that inflation would be the topic of the new law.  After all, who would know the difference… among the people who really matter, anyway?  They got out the white-out, and within 10 minutes, the name was changed.

One House member felt a little guilty about lying to the nation, since the new name had nothing to do with the contents inside.  So, they amended the bill to add a miniscule item that would have a 0.0001% reduction in inflation by the 9th year.  He felt better after that, and could proudly say they were telling the truth-ish.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, until proven otherwise.