Insights: Merger Shmerger and I Hate My Job
Two companies in the lawnmower engine equipment business, Lawn Jones Corporation and Dweeb Mowers have just reached a tentative agreement to merge their two enterprises, subject of course to due diligence activities and Department of Justice review. But, as they quickly find out, the companies have vastly different corporate cultures. Lawn Jones is more of an old-fashioned, buttoned-down type firm that does business in a conventional, conservative way. Dweeb Mowers is just about the opposite. It is a new-thinking, progressive, casual atmosphere company that shuns many of the business approaches of the past. The combination of the two companies are of great concern to their major customer, Bobo Lawnmowers, who is afraid that the new outfit will become monopoly-like, causing prices to skyrocket. Meanwhile, the Department of Justice is also concerned that the merger will have anti-competitive implications, but at the same time, the Department is being pressured by the Administration to fast-track the approval process. What will be the outcome of this whole process?
The story is written in a unique format that gives 5 first-person accounts of the drama as it unfolds, going back and forth between the 5 main characters as the due diligence proceeds along. The 5 characters are:
- Jason Quibble, the Acquisition Project Leader for Lawn Jones who reports to the CEO
- Mario Stumpf, the Operations Vice President for Dweeb who is the primary contact for the Lawn Jones team
- William Nard, a first-level accounting clerk, assigned to provide assistance to the effort
- Mickey LeDoo, the Purchasing Manager for Bobo Lawnmowers, the biggest customer of both firms
- Richard Dunker, the Merger and Acquisition Systems Analyst for the Department of Justice
Merger Shmerger is a humorous satire, seen through the eyes of 5 very different individuals, with different vantage points, different roles and marching orders as they delve into this process. All of the 5 characters have been instructed as to how they should “feel” about this merger and how that should be communicated in public; naturally all 5 have their own private opinions of the merger which are somewhat at odds to the instructions given to them. It is fun to see the merging process through the different vantage points, and to watch how they each deal with their internal conflicts.
I HATE MY JOB
I Hate My Job is a hilarious satire on mismanagement and lousy leadership in the modern world. The story begins one morning when, in a moment of frustration, an office employee at Gooberex Corporation blurts out, “I hate my job.” A coworker in an adjacent cubicle overhears this, and begins to realize she hates her job, too. Pretty soon, others jump on the Job Hate bandwagon. HR gets wind of this emerging morale problem, and begins a series of bonehead “morale improvement” activities. Naturally, each action that the dimwit leaders undertake has the exact opposite effect on employee attitudes. Soon, the company is in the midst of a morale crisis, deepening every day with each goofy HR-inspired remedy.
Fortunately, a small group of employees identify the true root of the problem, and proceeds with a treacherous plan to correct their course. Will they succeed and put Gooberex back on the path to prosperity, or will they flame=out and end up side-by-side in the unemployment line?
It will have you laughing from beginning to end.
