bizarreville

Now that Kamala is the presumptive Democratic nominee for President, the Democrat Party leaders are wondering how to spin her.  After all, she amassed the worst record as a Vice President since Spiro Agnew.  Her one major work assignment, to fix the southern border crisis, was a legendary screw-up, with millions and millions of illegal aliens flooding into the country under her watch.  Many feel, with her as President, that Putin will invade New Mexico, set up his own gambling casinos, while shutting down the Indian casinos.

Party leaders are certain they can put lipstick on any barnyard animal and can turn Kamala’s pathetic approval ratings into golden McNuggets.  All Democrat party members have been instructed to put on the “Love Kamala” face pronto, or risk being rebranded as a bigoted MAGA, and find a space under the bus.  And, they better jump on the Socialism bandwagon if they want to live in a nice tenement apartment after the revolution, get priority when standing in bread lines, and receive allocations of the better vodkas.

Senior leaders are not worried.  They were able to convince 80 million citizens to vote for Old Drifty Head last time, so should be able to rope them in for Comrade Kamal this go around.

Disclaimer:  stories in Bizarreville are fiction-ish.

Many Democrats are hanging tough, supporting President Dead Head, after his debate train wreck last week.  The President was unable to answer a single question coherently, claiming that he did not get enough sleep the night before.  Most bystanders said it looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep for about 3 years, and could probably use a 4-year rest.

Senior Democrats disagree, however.  They point out that glibness is way overrated, and intelligence makes leaders feel like they are Mister Know-it-Alls.  “Give me a stumbling, bumbling bozo any day of the week,” one anonymous spokesman said.  “And you’ll have a President who is not argumentative when we tell him to shut up and just sign stuff.  Look at our opponent who is running for President.  He will argue and pester you to death, demanding all kinds of information before he signs one lousy Executive Order.  Drive you nuts.”

Many Independents who had been leaning toward voting for Biden are now saying they cannot vote for someone so mentally diminished.  They say they would face too much ridicule at neighborhood picnics, if they ever admitted voting for such an empty head.  For those who can’t seem to push the lever for Trump, they say they will stay home and watch Wheel of Fortune reruns.

All stories in Bizarreville are fiction, until they become true.