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Bizarreville Nation,

The long-awaited book has arrived.  I Hate My Job is the latest novel from Bizarreville Press, featuring more business/social satire, and imbedded with our acclaimed zany cartoons.  It will make an excellent gift to a friend who may be less than 100% satisfied with their lousy job, their creepy coworkers, or their idiot boss.  It is an excellent read for people suffering from COVID-related job loss, or who have been forced to work from home without any real supervision… who have some spare time on their hands, and could use a lift-me-up.  As always, the book is available on Amazon, easily accessible by clicking the book cover in the right column that will take you to the exact site for simple ordering ——>

The President, in his inauguration speech, promised that his Administration would focus on Unity in mending the hard feelings from the campaign and election.  Many in the audience felt that this was one of the best inauguration speeches ever, as he recognized the deep divides, while also pointing out the enormous common ground that people shared.  For about 4 hours, one could feel real cohesion happening.

In keeping with his Unity theme, the President proceeded to head to the Oval Office, and signed 17 Executive Orders that showed his willingness to try to unify the Hard Left, the Staunch Left, and the Pretty-Dern Left factions.  But, unfortunately, things quickly started unraveling when he met with some of the various left-wing leaders.

His decision to stop the Mexican wall construction was objected to by the Hard Left, who wanted to blow up the 500 miles of recently-built wall.  The order to unblock to Muslim travel ban restriction was generally seen as favorable by all the groups.  However, some among the Staunch Left wanted to use the multitude of docked cruise ships to usher the Muslims into the country in a comfortable way, rather than having them rely on rafts or kayaks to travel here.

The President’s revoking of the Keystone Pipeline permit and putting moratoriums on oil/gas leases did not go nearly far enough for all the Left-wing groups, who wished to see a complete shutdown of all fossil fuel burners and an instant conversion to windmills.  The President asked them to give him a little time, but the leaders showed impatience, got a little unruly, and eventually had to be restrained by members of the Secret Service.

The moratorium on home evictions/foreclosures on a temporary basis was supported by the Pretty-Dern Left.  But the Hard Left and the Staunch Left wanted him to take one more step, and eliminate private property ownership altogether.  This ended up in a big debate, with the President finally agreeing on a compromise to put price controls on all forms of housing, and zero-percent mortgages for first-time buyers.

There is still much work to be done to coalesce all the key factions, and achieve Unity.  The President has recommitted to accomplishing this unity thing, as promised in his inaugural address, and believes it can all be done in the next 100 days.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, and so are not to be considered Fake News.

The President-elect just announced his plans to staff a new cabinet-level position titled the Secretary of Hypocrisy and Double Standards.  This position will advise all cabinet members, government officials, and liberal members of Congress on the proper use of hypocrisy in all communications.  The Secretary will also oversee the management of all Double Standard legislation that is expected to be generated in the next 4 years.

2020 demonstrated an excellent use of hypocrisy by liberal leaders, especially in response to COVID restrictions.  The governor of California was seen mask-less in large gatherings, in spite of his proclamation that normal Californians were to fully lock down, and even cancel family get-togethers.  Speaker Pelosi was seen at her hairdresser, violating the state’s prohibitions on this activity.  Acts of violence in Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Minneapolis, and many other cities were strongly supported and encouraged by libs, legitimized because the burnings/lootings were all done for proper causes.  While these hypocritic acts were generally applauded by liberals in public statements, in private, they worried that many citizens might be unaware that government leaders were allowed to have “special passes.”  Clearly, hypocrisy rules need to be better communicated and tightly controlled in the near future.

The same is true on Double Standards.  Many citizens seem oblivious to the legitimacy of double standards.  They often mistakenly feel that what is improper on one side, should be improper on the other… not realizing the dire need to have different standards, depending on the importance of the cause.  Any cause related to giving certain oppressed groups special privileges, allowing illegal aliens to have better rights than citizens, or allowing criminals to go free if the prisons do not offer cable TV, Internet, and individualized personal trainers, for example, is to be granted Double Standard Exemption status.  And, there will be many other causes deserving a Double Standard Exemption, and some that are not deserving.  So, these cases must be managed… and this is why the new Cabinet position is necessary.

Opponents have been silent, realizing anything they say could cause their social media account to be blocked.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, at the time of writing.