bizarreville

The President recently announced his intention to ratchet up the trade war with China another couple notches by enacting a 200 percent tariff on soy sauce.  He did not say if this was a reaction to China’s imposing their own tariff on soy beans, but logic would suggest that the soy sauce tariff would fit his retaliatory strategy when dealing with snotty-ish opponents.  With tariffs going both ways on soy (beans and sauce), the price of soy sauce will skyrocket.

Chinese restaurant owners were furious when they heard the news.  “This will absolutely kill our take-out business,” one owner complained.  “No one is going to want to eat Egg Foo Young naked.”  When asked whether the tariffs will impact their sit-down business, he said that no one gets tables anymore because the place stinks too bad; they just grab the bag and run.  He said they are thinking about turning their dining room into a fitness center with treadmills, so that customers waiting for orders have something to do.

The Administration has encouraged Chinese restauranteurs to experiment with new sauces, such as salsa or guacamole.  “You might discover a whole new food genre that you could call ‘Chexican’…General Tso chicken with enchilada sauce and sweet/sour refried beans.  Who wouldn’t love a Moo Goo Taco with some Mexican fried rice?  Could be a huge hit with people who are always looking for the next big thing.  Serendipity.”

It’s still early to tell whether the soy sauce tariff will be a real tariff or a fake tariff.  Meanwhile, the woks in the Chinese kitchens may start smelling like cilantro.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, at least when originally written.

Just released is our new novel from the presses at Bizarreville.  Nanny State is a wild, satire that chronicles a week in the life of Senator Jack Belfner, as he attempts to persuade his colleagues in the Senate on the merits of a new proposal that would allow one of the States to secede from the Union, and establish its own ultra-liberal nation where the government runs everything in people’s lives.  You may remember our hero, Jack, from The Obamanation novel.  Nanny State picks up where The Obamanation left off, and continues the hilarious misadventures of Jack, his family, and the other zany characters.  You will love it.  Click on the book cover image on the right to get your copy…before the vote happens. —–>