July 2nd, 2024
Dead Head
Many Democrats are hanging tough, supporting President Dead Head, after his debate train wreck last week. The President was unable to answer a single question coherently, claiming that he did not get enough sleep the night before. Most bystanders said it looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep for about 3 years, and could probably use a 4-year rest.
Senior Democrats disagree, however. They point out that glibness is way overrated, and intelligence makes leaders feel like they are Mister Know-it-Alls. “Give me a stumbling, bumbling bozo any day of the week,” one anonymous spokesman said. “And you’ll have a President who is not argumentative when we tell him to shut up and just sign stuff. Look at our opponent who is running for President. He will argue and pester you to death, demanding all kinds of information before he signs one lousy Executive Order. Drive you nuts.”
Many Independents who had been leaning toward voting for Biden are now saying they cannot vote for someone so mentally diminished. They say they would face too much ridicule at neighborhood picnics, if they ever admitted voting for such an empty head. For those who can’t seem to push the lever for Trump, they say they will stay home and watch Wheel of Fortune reruns.
All stories in Bizarreville are fiction, until they become true.
