bizarreville

At the recent Senate Committee hearings, Dr. Anthony Fauci continuously invoked his 5th Amendment right to not answer any questions whatsoever about his involvement during the COVID pandemic crisis.  He, at the time, was the Chief Advocate of masking, double-masking, social distancing, school closures, church closures, quarantines, and panic spreading.  Every crisis needs a designated panic-spreader, and he happily stepped into the role, and performed it with flair.

There were many questions about how the coronavirus originated, which he refused to answer.  Will we ever find out if the horrible virus was created in the Wuhan lab, allegedly partly financed by Fauci and his team of schemers?  Probably not, now that the gag strategy has been successfully employed.

But how does this 5th Amendment invocation foretell about the ability to get necessary information in the future?  In the past, panic generators were held accountable for their misbehaviors and shenanigans.  Many inadvertently tripped over themselves, answered questions a bit too honestly, and ended up doing jail time, or at the very least, disgracing themselves forever in the public eye.  Often, they said they were sorry… sorry for saying anything in the first place.

But Fauci has tried a new tactic, a rope-a-dope approach, that sets a new precedent in trying to thwart efforts to get to the bottom of mischief-making.  He just kept repeating the 5th Amendment protection blurb.  When asked if the chair he was seated in during the Committee hearing was comfortable, he responded that he was advised by Counsel to use his 5th Amendment right to not answer for fear of incrimination.  Later, he said that there could have been slivers in the chair which could have caused him to perjure himself.

The bigger picture is that Fauci’s silence gives a path forward to anybody not agreeing to answer questions to any authority for any reason.  Why put yourself at risk whatsoever?  Why bother?  No upside, plenty of downside.  There could be some naive people who might say they just want to tell the truth.  But after imagining the badgering they’d get by the Congress people, they would probably rethink it.  In the meantime, insiders expect to hear a lot of that 5th Amendment bail-out blurb in the future.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, even the ones with a slight element of truth in them.

Many people in the country are wondering how our culture has eroded such that Socialists are winning elections in Democratic primaries and even some general elections in Blue states.  How can people not see that Socialism has failed wherever it’s been tried?  Have they not looked at the difference between South Korea and North Korea, clearly the most obvious comparison of how 2 different ideologies produce 2 vastly different outcomes?  What is wrong with these Democratic voters?

Of course, the answer is simple:  most Democrats have become dopey.  That’s right, they are dopes.  Total dopes.  Their brains have suffered meltdowns, and they are now incapable of any logical thought.  They believe any goofiness spewed upon them… mostly spewed by teachers.

How did this happen?  Some say that it all happened when they were young.  They were brought up drinking super-size Coca Cola’s, munching on artificially colored M&M’s, and chowing down unhealthy Ding Dongs.  They were given weekly allowances as kids but not required to do any work to earn that money.  They wet the bed and were not held accountable or forced to wear adolescent-size diapers.  Family doctors were not able to see these deteriorating effects on their physical/mental systems, and blew it off, saying, “It’s normal kid stuff.  Who’s the next patient in the waiting room?”  Their brains were soft when teachers laid the Socialist crap on them.

Eventually, these deranged kids became deranged voters.  They believed the tax-the-rich hokum.  They loved the free lunch programs and the government grocery stores.  They appreciated rent control programs that prevented “greedy” landlords from making any profit.  They cherished the idea of tax rebates for people who do not pay taxes.

Medical experts say that these Dopey Democrat Voters are beyond hope at this stage.  Their brains cannot be recouped because of the severe damage inflicted.  The only hope is to somehow stop the madness to proliferate in young people by firing Socialist teachers in schools and colleges.  Meanwhile, the additional hope is that existing Democrats are just too lazy to drag ass off the couch to vote on election day.

Republicans are planning to do a road show, showing sad pictures of North Korea, and even a few disgusting photos of the old East Germany.  This will demonstrate the vision of the future in the Democratic Socialist eyes.  Hopefully, it will convince the fence-sitters, who are only partially brain-dead, to stop being brainwashed with the caustic soda of Socialism.  Or at least show them an honest view of what they’re voting for.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, in case you are a Democrat who may not have already figured that out.

The sudden rise in citizens who are proponents of Communism has prompted the question:  How in the frick did that happen?  After all, most people in the U.S. have benefitted from the fruits of the free enterprise system, unless they’ve been lazy ignoramuses.  Why wouldn’t they just do the math, and realize how their blessings have come about?

The answer is simple:  Because they don’t know how to do math.  Yes, of course, they all learned basic arithmetic in elementary school.  But by the time they graduated college, they managed to unlearn all that math stuff.  Most of that unlearning was drilled into them by Communist-sympathizing professors in liberal colleges.  These professors started by telling their students that History was all a bunch of lies, then said the Moon Landing was faked, and M&M’s were good for you.  The professors claimed that Math was developed by a bunch of elite Ponzi-schemers in order to exploit the intellectually-shortchanged masses.  They grouched that so-called free enterprise is only free to the schemers.

The professors are now teaching that Communism, on the other hand, is the most fair system, because it allows equal distribution of benefits, no matter how hard-working or lazy you are.  It does not give initiative-takers an upper hand just because some guy has a great idea, and another guy is idea-vacant.  Communism understands that many people need lots of dope to muddle through their days, which can zap their energies, ambitions, and gung-ho.  It recognizes that some people are just plain stupid, and you can’t fix stupid.  Why make all the underachievers feel bad?

They point out that Communism certainly does not allow corporations to profit on the backs of its poor customers, suckered into buying stuff because of all the enticing commercials on TV.  They say that’s the fallacy of capitalism… always huckstering innocent people into buying stuff they don’t need.  Who needs a fancy Ronco nose-hair trimmer when a pair of ordinary scissors will do the job just fine?  Who needs to see a happy family enjoying dinner at Outback Steakhouse when a loaf of bread and a bowl of soup will satisfy their nutritional needs?  Why would anybody want to put a huge dollop of guacamole on a pile of meat?  It’s all propaganda.

When soft-minded students hear this barrage of examples describing the foibles of free enterprise from bald, multi-degreed professors with huge, oversized heads, they glom onto Communist ideology.   They feel enlightened that they now know something that their parents didn’t know.  And isn’t that every kid’s dream?

Some universities have started getting pressure from their Trustees and major donors to stop this Commie nonsense, and return to traditional college values like football, cheerleading, bonfires, and keg parties.  They want to get rid of professors who have never done any real work in their lives, and have only obtained knowledge from discussions with other similarly clueless professors and/or reading books written by Karl Marx and his goofy ilk.

Some professors are finally getting the message.  “It’s high time we adapt our teaching to sensible, proven ideologies,” one professor from a northeastern college was recently overheard saying to colleagues.  Unfortunately, that educator was then banished from the Teacher’s Lounge for the remainder of the semester.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction at the time of writing.