bizarreville

The newly elected socialist mayor of Seattle has promised her citizens that she would tackle the food affordability problem in Seattle by building government-owned grocery stores.  She wants to make delicious foods available to society’s underbelly, so that they can dine like rich people, and enjoy filet mignon, lobster tails, and oysters Rockefeller instead of their usual cheeseburgers and potato salad.

“It’s all about leveling the scales and not penalizing people just because they don’t want to work hard for a living,” an Aide to the mayor-elect said, as he dished out lobster bisque at a local soup kitchen.

The campaign says that they will bring down the cost of choice rib-eyes to $1.00 per pound.  But the question remains, who will cover the difference in cost of about $20.00 per pound?

“The billionaires,” the Aide answered.  “They have been stepping on the backs of low-income people for too long.  And it’s high time they pay their fair share for all the society benefits they’ve accrued.”

“You mean multi-billionaires like Bill Gates?” a reporter asked.

“No, not him.  He’s a Democrat.  We don’t want to harm him.  Only people who voted for Trump.  Those people.”

“So, you’re letting the super-rich off the hook because they all converted to left-wing liberalism once they made all their billions in the conservative world of free enterprise?”

“That’s right.  They see the light now.  So, they get a free pass.”

“What happens if all the Conservative-leaning billionaires start moving out of Seattle.  Who’s going to pick up the tab then?”

“We may have to dip down to millionaires in that case.”

“And if the millionaires split and move to Texas?”

“There are many thousandaires who have been arrogantly throwing their weight around, acting all high and mighty just because they have jobs.”

There is a real risk that the government grocery store concept could totally collapse due to Economic Stupidity, resulting in severe food shortages that could cause starvation, malnutrition, and acid reflux.  But supporters say that if they run out of food, they can always go across the border to Idaho and grab some potatoes.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction.  Some may never come true.

The Association of AI Bureaucrat Busters (AAIBB) has just published a study revealing that recent breakthroughs in Artificial Intelligence systems development now make it possible for companies to completely eliminate their HR departments.  Many leaders had been hoping that AI could allow significant productivity improvements which could lead to headcount thrifting actions.  But few realized that the new technology could quash what is typically regarded as the biggest annoyance in corporate management, the Human Resource Function.  Or should it be called the Human Resource Dysfunction?  It is widely held that HR adds zero net value to a corporation’s performance, and in many cases, actually creates negative value by virtue of its moronic systems, incomprehensible procedures, unfair biases, and total lack of intelligence.  Clearly, Artificial Intelligence can be an enticing substitute for Human Unintelligence in the eyes of most leaders.

Some argue that it will be nearly impossible to duplicate HR’s Performance Evaluation Systems, Benefits Administration Procedures, Diversity Oversight Schemes, Fair Handling Methodologies, and Career Advancement Mechanisms that have taken decades to fine tune and are now quite entrenched.  Millions of man-years have been spent in seminars in order to train facilitators with Play Acting Drills, Arctic Survival Tests, and Rope Courses to build solid HR skills.  “There is no way an AI computer can partake in a balance-board, trust-building exercise,” one HR Specialist from Fumblefunk Corporation argued.  “Let’s face it:  The machine would tumble over and would be unable to get itself up.”

But others believe that HR, with all of its stupid, needless, wheel-spinning bureaucracy, is a perfect application for AI.  “AI computers can undertake 1000 times as many worthless activities as a human,” an AI proponent suggests.  “and do those worthless activities 1000 times as fast.  It’s an ideal fit.”

One company, Dehuman Resources Inc., has developed an AI model to make the switchover to non-humans.  They claim to have over 400 active customers so far, with another 600 interested parties expressing interest in making the purge.  “Savings could be in the millions of dollars,” the CEO of DRI claims.  “Not so much by eliminating the HR people themselves, but by eliminating all the goofy crap that HR people have thrust onto all the other members of the company.  That’s the real payback.”

Disclaimer:  all stories in bizarreville are fiction.  Until enough people read the postings and start making the ideas real.