bizarreville

The Association of AI Bureaucrat Busters (AAIBB) has just published a study revealing that recent breakthroughs in Artificial Intelligence systems development now make it possible for companies to completely eliminate their HR departments.  Many leaders had been hoping that AI could allow significant productivity improvements which could lead to headcount thrifting actions.  But few realized that the new technology could quash what is typically regarded as the biggest annoyance in corporate management, the Human Resource Function.  Or should it be called the Human Resource Dysfunction?  It is widely held that HR adds zero net value to a corporation’s performance, and in many cases, actually creates negative value by virtue of its moronic systems, incomprehensible procedures, unfair biases, and total lack of intelligence.  Clearly, Artificial Intelligence can be an enticing substitute for Human Unintelligence in the eyes of most leaders.

Some argue that it will be nearly impossible to duplicate HR’s Performance Evaluation Systems, Benefits Administration Procedures, Diversity Oversight Schemes, Fair Handling Methodologies, and Career Advancement Mechanisms that have taken decades to fine tune and are now quite entrenched.  Millions of man-years have been spent in seminars in order to train facilitators with Play Acting Drills, Arctic Survival Tests, and Rope Courses to build solid HR skills.  “There is no way an AI computer can partake in a balance-board, trust-building exercise,” one HR Specialist from Fumblefunk Corporation argued.  “Let’s face it:  The machine would tumble over and would be unable to get itself up.”

But others believe that HR, with all of its stupid, needless, wheel-spinning bureaucracy, is a perfect application for AI.  “AI computers can undertake 1000 times as many worthless activities as a human,” an AI proponent suggests.  “and do those worthless activities 1000 times as fast.  It’s an ideal fit.”

One company, Dehuman Resources Inc., has developed an AI model to make the switchover to non-humans.  They claim to have over 400 active customers so far, with another 600 interested parties expressing interest in making the purge.  “Savings could be in the millions of dollars,” the CEO of DRI claims.  “Not so much by eliminating the HR people themselves, but by eliminating all the goofy crap that HR people have thrust onto all the other members of the company.  That’s the real payback.”

Disclaimer:  all stories in bizarreville are fiction.  Until enough people read the postings and start making the ideas real.