November 14th, 2025
Soviet-style grocery stores coming to Seattle
The newly elected socialist mayor of Seattle has promised her citizens that she would tackle the food affordability problem in Seattle by building government-owned grocery stores. She wants to make delicious foods available to society’s underbelly, so that they can dine like rich people, and enjoy filet mignon, lobster tails, and oysters Rockefeller instead of their usual cheeseburgers and potato salad.
“It’s all about leveling the scales and not penalizing people just because they don’t want to work hard for a living,” an Aide to the mayor-elect said, as he dished out lobster bisque at a local soup kitchen.
The campaign says that they will bring down the cost of choice rib-eyes to $1.00 per pound. But the question remains, who will cover the difference in cost of about $20.00 per pound?
“The billionaires,” the Aide answered. “They have been stepping on the backs of low-income people for too long. And it’s high time they pay their fair share for all the society benefits they’ve accrued.”
“You mean multi-billionaires like Bill Gates?” a reporter asked.
“No, not him. He’s a Democrat. We don’t want to harm him. Only people who voted for Trump. Those people.”
“So, you’re letting the super-rich off the hook because they all converted to left-wing liberalism once they made all their billions in the conservative world of free enterprise?”
“That’s right. They see the light now. So, they get a free pass.”
“What happens if all the Conservative-leaning billionaires start moving out of Seattle. Who’s going to pick up the tab then?”
“We may have to dip down to millionaires in that case.”
“And if the millionaires split and move to Texas?”
“There are many thousandaires who have been arrogantly throwing their weight around, acting all high and mighty just because they have jobs.”
There is a real risk that the government grocery store concept could totally collapse due to Economic Stupidity, resulting in severe food shortages that could cause starvation, malnutrition, and acid reflux. But supporters say that if they run out of food, they can always go across the border to Idaho and grab some potatoes.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction. Some may never come true.
