bizarreville

Mayor Mamdani of New York has declared that a revolution is underway to move his city to full Communist ideology.  He has enlisted fellow Communists to run for US Congress and has successfully convinced the mind-numb citizens of New York City to vote for them, leading to wins in Democrat primaries.  “It may take some time to fully convince our comrades that we know the best path forward,” Mamdani said in a victory speech.  “But we are 110 percent committed to driving the revolution to victory over the greedy Free Enterprisers.”

Mamdani knows that free enterprise does not work for his constituency.  Free enterprise requires incredible amounts of effort, risk-taking, sacrifice, and individual initiative.  It only functions if there is a built-in work ethic engrained in the people.  This won’t work for New York City dwellers.  Mamdani knows that most New Yorkers far prefer the easy path to life, consisting of government-provided freebies, handouts, and giveaways.  The easy track works especially well for people who have had a string of nights smoking dope, popping gummies, and/or pouring down cheap hooch.  You must remember that the enormous numbers of New York deadbeat fathers, who left momma in the lurch years ago, prefer to shoot hoops than work for a living at a boring job.  Mamdani promises free hoops for all, with metal chain nets on every basketball goal at every playground in the City.

The other big group of people who will support the Communist revolution are the young people.  Young people, who have mostly grown up fatherless in New York City, have no clue on what to do with their lives in the old system.  They know they need someone to look after them, cradle to grave, to tell them what to do, and always be there when they repeatedly fail due to lack of ambition, lack of direction, lack of energy.  Mamdani says he can provide that guiding light, saying that it’s much better getting advice from him rather than some street pimp.

The problem is, however, that many experts have explained to Mamdani that Communism has failed to work wherever it has been tried.  It oppresses people under a dictatorship, eliminating freedoms, and preventing people from realizing any sense of pride or potential in their lives.  “Yeah, but they’ll be getting free groceries in my system,” Mamdani explains.  “And everyone can appreciate free groceries.  Just ask them.”

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction.  Even the ones that seem so real.