bizarreville

The new Trump Accounts that are being proposed to benefit newborn children are generally considered a brilliant benefit to get young people to take part in the American Wealth Creation experience.  The accounts will provide seed money to begin these accounts and encourage family members to add to these accounts as the child grows, and watch the value expand over the years.  But there has been some criticism from the Left about using the name “Trump” on these accounts.  They say that Trump’s name often brings unhappiness in low-income citizens… the very people who would benefit the most by the accounts.

One suggestion made by the Lefties from Minnesota is to call them Omar Accounts, named after the Somalian-born, nationalized woman who won a seat in Congress in 2016 from the heavy Somalian, socialist district of Minneapolis.  They say that Ilhan Omar is probably the savviest investor in the history of any person employed in government service, having increased her personal asset value from $250 thousand in 2023 to $30 million in 2024, a 119-fold increase in just one year.  What better way to show youngsters how to get rich in this country, even if you come from relatively modest beginnings.  It gives people a model and a heroine as they search for their own path to prosperity.

Unfortunately, this name change is unlikely to happen… mainly because she has opposed anything that comes out of the Trump Administration’s playbook.  Perhaps if and when Democrats get back in power, they can rename the accounts by Executive Order, and claim it was their idea in the first place.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, whether you like it or not.

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In order to strengthen his Anti-ICE position and his desire to keep Minnesota a sanctuary state for illegal immigrant criminals, Governor Walz had told federal authorities to “bring ’em all here.”  Walz has opened the Minnesota borders for all immigration agents throughout the country to round-up the sleazy criminals and deliver them to Minneapolis.  “Every one of those poor immigrants has value, whether it be supplying cheap dope or conniving schemes to shakedown government funds, that can be put to use for our citizens here,” Walz said.  “It’s part of our Minnesota Dream, to find ways to spread our something-for-nothing belief system, and also to keep our people high while we’re at it.”

Walz backers have cautioned him not to be so blatant when it comes to supporting illegal activities.  They warn that he could get thrown into prison for violating a number of statutes.  “Let them try,” Walz has responded.  “I’ve got thousands of Minnesota citizens who will support me… and thousands of paid professional agitators who will shield me, using hockey sticks to beat down any law enforcement thugs who try to haul me away.”

Meanwhile, truckloads of murderers, drug dealers, and armed robbers have begun showing up at Minneapolis City Hall.  The mayor has established an Express Lane for these thugs to get quickly processed and returned back on the streets where they can get back to their nefarious activity.  The new Minnesotans have promised to vote Democratic in future elections to compensate for this gift of freedom.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, but it kinda makes you wonder.