July 31st, 2011
Tax Man, the limerick
There once was a man from Who-knows-where
The guy barely knew where his toes were
Instead of rejected
Somehow got elected
While brains were still parked in their doze-wear.
.
I’m Tax Man. It’s spelled with an Ax
To cut down your oversized stacks
I’ll pickpock your wallet
“Your fair share,” I’ll call it
And hope that your ear’s full of wax.
.
It’s Tax. It’s just something I love
With a mandate that fits like a glove
I’ll shake down all CapeTown
I’ll quake down in FlakeTown
And breakdown each tax bill I shove.
.
I’ll tax your ass while you are sittin’
I’ll tax loogies that just got spittin’
I’ll find all your loopholes
And plug all your poopholes
To save you from payin’ for s#!ttin’
.
Need tax for my stimulus plans
And tax for my flimulous flams
Need ‘backs for the hacks
Who massage all the facts
That wax all my dimly-lit scams.
.
Got programs in dire need o’ dough
Got cash-sinks I promised to grow
Got favors for cavers
And savors for shavers
Who gave us this gravenous glow.
.
So pay up, and pay all you can
Then pay more, and act like a man
Cuz no one likes whining
While we’re busy dining
With comrades who love to eat bran.
.
And don’t fudge on April 15
By then, we should have you picked clean
We’ll choke on your collar
While draining each dollar
Erase any remnant of green.
.
I’m Tax Man. I’m what you jerks ordered
I’ve crashed every train that I’ve boarded
An irregular guy
With a regular tie
Who never inhaled what he snorted.
.
.
It’s Tax. It’s just something I love
With a mandate that fits like a glove
I’ll shake down all CapeTown
I’ll quake down in FlakeTown
And breakdown each tax bill I shove.
.
I’ll tax your ass while you are sittin’
I’ll tax loogies that just got spittin’
I’ll find all your loopholes
And plug all your poopholes
To save you from payin’ for s#!ttin’
.
Need tax for my stimulus plans
And tax for my flimulous flams
Need ‘backs for the hacks
Who massage all the facts
That wax all my dimly-lit scams.
.
Got programs in dire need o’ dough
Got cash-sinks I promised to grow
Got favors for cavers
And savors for shavers
Who gave us this gravenous glow.
.
So pay up, and pay all you can
Then pay more, and act like a man
Cuz no one likes whining
While we’re busy dining
With comrades who love to eat bran.
.
And don’t fudge on April 15
By then, we should have you picked clean
We’ll choke on your collar
While draining each dollar
Erase any remnant of green.
.
I’m Tax Man. I’m what you jerks ordered
I’ve crashed every train that I’ve boarded
An irregular guy
With a regular tie
Who never inhaled what he snorted.
.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction.
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