bizarreville

Several states in the Midwest and South hurriedly passed new laws prohibiting citizens from using the new “N” word in public.  It is hoped that tougher enforcement will control the outbreaks in violence that have occurred since the Obamacare bill was passed, and the emergence of this new derogatory term.

The first reported incident happened in a cozy little bar in a small Indiana town, when one slightly inebriated tea partier called a middle-of-the-road independent “Nancy” in front of all the bar patrons.  Before you knew it, there were “Nancy” calls being shouted throughout the bar, leading to fistfights, broken bar stools, and many pints of spilled beer.  No apologies were given.

The story made national news, as an example of the pent-up frustration and anger stemming from the hyper-partisanship over the Health Care debate, and the raging disappointment over the performance of the nincompoops in Washington.  But others around the country soon jumped on the bandwagon, and Nancy cat-call incidents started popping up here, there, and everywhere.

Most leaders seemed to understand that there was frustration.  But using the Nancy-word took it to a new level…using a term that has come to mean an unscrupulous lying incompetent commie bozo…ouch.  Chiefs of police around the country have said that there is no way that they will allow this kind of pinko epithet to go unchallenged in today’s politically correct world….and will be invoking a no-tolerance policy on the name callers with harsh consequences.

Curiously, liberals have recently called other liberals “Nancy” supposedly as a term of endearment.  However, when overheard by anyone right of Mao, snickers and chuckles have ensued…as they made fun of the naive guy who just got slammed by his buddy.

Police say that the crackdown on Nancy-catcallers has begun, and is being applied whether used as endearment or used as a mega-insult.  “We can’t take chances,” said one chief.  “We will assume anyone using the term is being derogatory with it.”

Girls named Nancy have complained that no one will be able to call them now, without fear of punishment and possible jail time.  Officials say that they understand the predicament, but have advised them to change their names to Mona.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, but most of you figured that out already.

Bill Cronie, Bizarreville’s fine upstanding pharmacist, is very upset.  “The continuing talk in the News about Cronies being appointed to critical positions in the Administration has thoroughly besmirched our family name beyond repair.  The incompetent goof-balls and tax cheats receiving these important appointments…none of them are Cronies, none are even distantly related to any Cronies, not even by marriage.  They are dirt-bag nimrods who are drawn together by their vacuum of character and held together by the sticky goo they spew.  But no…no…no way are any of them Cronies, trust me.  Please call them Nincompoops.”

Elwood Nincompoop could not be reached for comment.