bizarreville

The ghost of Joe McCarthy came down (or up…he wouldn’t say) to assess the current situation on communist infiltration into our society.  He was then instructed to compile a full report for the ghost of Thomas Jefferson.  Tom had heard disturbing news coming from some of the recent liberal dead guys who seemed overly exuberent… even in the afterlife.  Seems they were feeling some sort of redemption from a lifelong struggle to bring the share-the-wealth, handouts for everyone, no-deadbeat-left-behind mantra into being.  They were thinking they found the path to eternal righteousness.  Unfortunately for them, Tom had to tell them they were dead wrong.  He then commissioned McCarthy to check things out.

McCarthy was able to sneak into the secret Democratic Obamacare meetings where they were busy carving out special deals to buy votes.  He reminisced that these were so much like the heady old days in 1940’s and 50’s Chicago where modern sleazy dealmaking was invented.  But he was flabbergasted that the Cornhusker Kickback was such an unabashed public pants-dropping.  “In the old days, we had to keep our skanky deals under the covers in the red light district, politically speaking, of course.  These guys don’t care who sees their soiled shorts.”

Joe started taking note of names who appeared certain to be communists at high levels in the country.  Interviewing one uber-liberal congressman, he was amazed to hear him assertively say, “No way am I a communist!!  No way.  That’s a mean-spirited ploy by the giant right wing conspiracy to mischaracterize me, my family, and my constituents.  It’s just not right.”  When McCarthy asked whether he believed in government health care, government control of oil companies and banks, restrictions on conservative talk radio, and sharing wealth by taxing the hell out of anyone earning a salary, his answer was, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes to all of the above.”  When McCarthy suggested his political philosophies seem to line up more with Marx, Putin, or Mao, the congressman said, “You’re a communist.  You are.”

Joe chatted with 50 people on New York city steets, and 49 seemed to basically agree with the congressman.  The 50th guy was a wino who agreed with everything he said, then asked for a buck so he could wet his whistle before answering any more questions.

McCarthy had to report back to Tom that things have headed south since Reagan left office.  He asked Tom if he could come back down in life-form, recommission the House Un-American Activities committee, and bust a few chops of these softies.  But Tom said not right now.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction.