March 6th, 2010
AMA gets pissed on Obamacare
Doctors across Bizarreville were surprised and shocked that the AMA came out in favor of Obamacare. They asked how can this be true when 90% of doctors are totally opposed to this belligerent, radical takeover of the Health Care industry? Many doctors are claiming they will retire when/if this nightmare comes true. They are puzzled that the AMA somehow “doesn’t get it”, or has chosen to flip the bird to the people they represent.
The truth behind this story has been discovered. Our investigative reporters have dug deep into the bowels of this issue, and found the facts. Turns out, the members of the AMA Leadership Council were held up at gunpoint several weeks ago, while taking a casual stroll along the Potomac. A masked man wearing an “Obama loves me” wife-beater shirt and smelling like a Liberal accosted them, threatening to take their $75 million funding away if they didn’t play ball. One of the leaders became outraged and screamed ‘No way, Jose’….and he was promptly shot. Luckily the assailant’s gun was a squirt gun, and he was shot with 12 ounces of horse piss. But it ruined his suit, and the event was enough to terrorize the other wimpified AMA Leaders into blubbering a tacit acceptance of the gunman’s demands.
Even the sprayed doctor agreed to play ball after considering that the Obamacare thug might visit his personal home and spray his whole family, his Beemer, and his cigar humidor. “You think it’s funny,” the sprayee cried. “But let me tell you, that horse piss is nasty stuff and hard to wash off. I can still smell it on that suit…had it dry cleaned twice and it still wreaks like formeldehyde or monofrodian moxolate….ugghhh! Probably will have to give it to Goodwill.”
Many doctors across the land have pledged to drop their horse piss-tainted AMA membership in response to this weak-kneedness to stand up and fight for them. “Hey, I’ll buy the doc a freaking suit,” one doctor yelled in anger. When asked if he would be willing to buy the guy’s Beemer, however, he responded, “Probably not.”
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, even the ones that seem so real.
