November 22nd, 2009
Left wing looks for ways to cope with Palin-ophobia
A special task force was formed last week to develop workable solutions and countermeasures to halt the growing fear of Sarah Palin in Bizarreville’s left wing community. Even the nighttime TV talk show comic hosts can be seen sweating profusely when joking about her, prompting complaints from their guests about the host’s BO during the couch interviews. “He might need to take a quick shower during commercial break…either that or start joking about someone less fearful during the monologue. If not, I’m wearing a clothespin on my nose next time,” cracked one Hollywood actor recent guest. “Hey, even I start sweating in the Green Room when her name comes up…almost caused me to forget my pitch lines for my upcoming movie ‘Brokebutt Mountain’. Geez.”
Clearly, Sarah’s radical ideas of small government, accountability, fiscal responsibility, family, and patriotism do not play well in the left corners of Bizarreville. The small government argument, in particular, seems to fan the biggest fear flames. “We have worked for generations to create a huge bureaucracy. Our gampaws and great-grampaws fought tooth and nail for every little new worthless agency, new goofball department, new half-baked program, new flaky handout. Are we going to let all their hard work just get flushed down the toilet? They’d be turning over in their graves, so unproud of our lack of guts to hold the line on these cuts.”
“I’ve heard Sarah talk, and she’s serious, just a little too serious, thank you very much. I mean the other lame politicians would get up there and blabber about cutting down the size of government…blah, blah, blah, blah. But we all knew they were just blowing hot air, and that once they got into Power, they’d fall right in line with our fine legacy of knuckleheads. But I don’t think Sarah’s got the knucklehead in her. This is a serious, serious threat…let me tell you.”
The task force main focus will be to continue to find absurd ways to make fun of Sarah…the old “make her look stupid, trashy, disconnected” ruse. Some on the committee are concerned that that card has already been overplayed, and might backfire. They want some new bold discreditation strategy, even if they have to make stuff up, or stage events. “The Hollywood community has pledged to help us produce whatever films, videos, or other media to support this Bash & Trash strategy.”
The task force has committed to issue their report including Marching Orders to the Left Wingers and Left Leaners by their May 1st Holiday.
wow! i loved this blog. its simple elegant and clean
“The Hollywood community has pledged to help us produce whatever films, videos, or other media to support this Bash & Trash strategy.”
Ouch!!!