November 2nd, 2009
Moorebird’s Cuba Commie Cruise a dud. Tourists throw Michael overboard in disgust
Cuban Coast Guard authorities report that Michael Moorebird, famous socialist/marxist whacko film director and less-famous tour guide, has been rescued from the Caribbean Sea 20 miles north of Cuba. He remains in serious but stable condition at Cuba’s El-Crudmo hospital, after taking in much salt water and being nibbled-on by a large tuna.
Mr. Moorebird, somewhat delirious, claims that his fellow tourists just threw him overboard, after they were allegedly very disenchanted with the Cuba Commie Cruise he sponsored. “They were really torqued-off for some reason…I don’t know why. I mean, I thought it was a great time, but some of them got pretty radical after 3 days of eating slightly stale bread and slightly off-color water…and, well, living in squalor. I thought we were all comrades-in-arms, exploring enthusiastically this wonderful socio-economic system. I guess I was wrong.”
Wrong indeed. Cruise passengers reported that Moorebird lied and misrepresented the cruise as a “fun trip”, then basically scammed them out of their money. “Fun? It was freaking Gross-town, Filth-adelphia, Pittsburgh…oops, sorry about that. Anyway, we tried to get our money back, but Moorebird just laughed and laughed, then said: F$#!@ You. Next thing I knew, he was yelping in the water. I think he may have slipped on the wet deck and fell in…who knows?”
Moorebird says he’ll do it again, but may wait a few years. “People just aren’t ready for it yet. They’re not as enlightened as me. They can’t see all the good, like I can…they just can’t see the beauty inside the filth. It’ll just take time.” Cuban medical people are also testing him for brain damage.
