September 6th, 2010
Ex-incumbents organize
It has been confirmed that a new highly-secretive society has been formed of current lame-duck incumbent legislators who have lost their primary elections because of their legendary incompetence. In the past, there have been very rare occasions when an incumbent has failed to hold their nomination in the primaries, usually only if he/she was blatantly convicted of a serious crime or committed some other gross atrocity while in office. The recent outbreaks of “Throw the Bums Out” citizen attitude is unprecedented in its scope.
The Thrown Bums are, however, not just sitting on their arses waiting to collect fat retirement checks and free-for-life health care benefits. No, instead they are organizing..not just to commiserate with each other…but to begin preparations to try and throw these “New Bums” out in upcoming years, in a leap frog retribution, of sorts.
The concept seems to have strong support among citizens, who like the idea of an organized, enema-like approach to the process which will be able to sustain itself into the future. This will, of course, place less pressure on the ordinary Joe Citizen to spend energy organizing the boob throwout campaigns. It will also provide the electorate with a steady source of reliable dirt accumulation and nastiness record-keeping to justify the regular purge.
The first orders of business will be to select a suitable meeting place, most likely a tavern with cheap Happy Hour of some sort, and naturally develop an appropriate secret handshake to separate the true Thrown Bums from the Wannabe bums.
“We particularly need to keep out the arrogant incumbents who have won their primaries,” said an unnamed throwee. “The last thing we need is those a$$#*les showing up to rub their fat little noses in our faces, and then running up the bar tab.”
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fictional, even the ones that seem so real.
