October 11th, 2009
Nobel Price for who/what?
The Mayor was ecstatic when the News came out. The distinguished Scandinavian-sounding gentleman on the other end of the line said he had just won the Nobel Peace Prize! The Mayor was shocked and was tempted to say “Huh…errr, uhhh…for what?” But he just thanked the person, hung up, and started dancing the Electric Slide around the room.
But deep inside, the Mayor knew he hadn’t done crap to deserve such an award. Frankly, he was more known for stirring-up doo-doo, rather than building peace. Promoting death panels for old grammaws, spending money like a drunken nuclear submarine crewmember on leave, handouts for any nitwit who whined on his shoulder, and spending all that money on that stupid low-cost 2016 Olympics proposition…just all created a lot of unrest in Bizarreville, not peace, certainly not peace. The only thing he’d really done for peace was to buy one round of beers for 2 guys fighting in McFunk’s Bar…was that enough to merit such a prestigious award? He did, after all, pop for imports rather than cheap bland domestic beer brands….?
But then the truth came out. The mayor had not won the Nobel Peace Prize. He had won the Gobel Cheese Prize, an award recognizing a member of government who best provides fodder for comedians, humor/satire authors, and political cartoonists. Named after 60’s deadpan comedian George Gobel, it gave special bonus points for nominees with a flair for pathetically understated fashion. The mayor, normally seen wearing pants hiked up to his man-boobs, certainly scored high in that bonus category.
Turns out, the Mayor was nominated for the Nobel Prize, based on that bar incident. But some English chap who had mediated a 6-person fight and bought the entire pub a round of pints got the nod for the prize. “Yeah, that’s a legendary accomplishment in anybody’s book,” said the Mayor barely hiding his disappointment. “Maybe I’ll get another chance to bust up a bar fight, and get rewarded for my Body of Work in the field…”
The Nobel committee had no comment.
