September 21st, 2009
New taxes for new Health Care program
The word is getting out that Taxes will go up if the new Bizarreville Health Care plan goes into effect. Leaders previously promised no new taxes to fund Health Care, but then a local 5th grader found a mistake that the Budget Office made in their arithmetic. The staff of PhD’s on the Bizarreville Economic Council were embarrassed, but said that the flaw was in their solar calculators due to all the overcast skies in the past couple weeks.
So now the Leaders are trying to figure who will foot the bill for the new funding needs. They took a poll of the Citizens, who overwhelmingly voted to tax the Rich guys…percentage-wise, the vote was about 90 to 10. Some pundits were concerned that this was the sixth time recently that taxes would go up on the Rich, and at some point that gravy train would need to end. They said that the new tax would reduce jobs, as more and more companies would move investment outside of Bizarreville to more tax-friendly places. They whined that you can’t keep giving all these other people free rides.
The Other side responded: “Waaah, waaah, waaah…let’s all shed tears for the multi-millionaires. Boo-hoo. May have to get by with 4 butlers instead of the conventional 5. May have to sell off one of the 8 Jags parked in the garage, the one that hasn’t been properly dusted in over a week (how gross).” They responded that the Boards will just jack up their salaries higher to compensate for the higher tax anyway…the rich dudes may end up net ahead when all is said and done. When asked about the impact on small business, they responded that the small guys are all getting Walmartized anyway…wake up, smell the decaf latte.
The Tax Fairness Congregate (TFC) said that Bizarreville is moving toward a culture of Tax Payers and Tax Consumers, a very dangerous trend, long term. “More and more people are getting removed from the tax rolls via reduced rates, tax rebates for the untaxed, and a plethora of freebies, handouts, and bogus breaks. It’s moving us rapidly toward socialism/marxism.”
TFC opponents, when asked about how they feel about Karl Marx, responded: “Was he the Italian guy with the funny hat, or the mute guy with the little honking horn? No matter…Bizarreville could definitely benefit from a little more comedyism and humorism.”
