January 10th, 2010
David Letterbrain gets counseling for Palin-ophoia
Talk show host David Letterbrain has checked into Manhattan Nutcase Help Center in order to get psychological treatment for his strange fear of Sarah Palin. Friends did an intervention with Dave after the 403rd time he tried to unsuccessfully craft a funny joke, a year after she had left the national scene. Palin jokes that perhaps at one time were real side-splitters had more recently diminished to “courtesy chuckles” from studio audiences. Friends tried and tried to tell Dave that his jokes were getting stupider and stupider and stupider by the day…and that his fans were complaining daily of his obsessive unfunniness. After many months of denial, ole Dave finally had to admit he had a phobia bordering on psychosis of Sarah.
“She scares the crap out of me,” Dave said while visibly trembling. “She could be our next President. And you know, after all the insulting remarks I’ve made about her, she might just find a way to throw my ass in jail. I just don’t want to be locked up in a little cell with Igor, the Thunder Yonker…ouch.”
Counselors have tried to calm him down, suggesting his anxieties had no merit, and he should just put that out of his mind….unless, of course he has been dodging income tax for the past 20 years and/or taking some questionable or inappropriate deductions that a team of 1000 IRS agents working full-time on the “Dave Audit Project” might find. Or, in case he has had a housekeeper, hose-keeper, or servant boy that he has failed to properly claim.
Counselors have said that this type of sickness is not all that uncommon among comics, particularly elderly ones who have lost their edginess and have forgotten what is funny while they try to advance their goofy unfunny political agenda. While he is there at the Center, the doctors will also be checking Dave for any lingering Cheney-phobia symptoms, and may just have him spend time with professional joke counselors.
Fans are hoping Dave comes out of the Nutcase Center flushed of his Palin-ophobia. They look forward to new fresh topical jokes, with his wit directed at the vast array of real, true knuckleheads running the country now. Certainly, the joke material is there, and fans hope he can connect with it.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, even the ones that sound like they could be real.
