November 13th, 2009
The Guy in the Chair over there isn’t breathing
A group of Bizarreville congresspeople has proposed the concept of Term Limits. They use the example of 90-year old Congressman Ferbert Clodge, who has been a member for 54 years….longer than most others have been alive. His decrepid health condition requires an Aide to push him around to meetings in a wheelchair, help him accomplish certain bodily functions in his frequent trips to the Mens room, and read to him Today’s marching orders from the Majority Whip. The latter is necessary so he knows how to vote, when to pick his nose, what not to say in front of cameras, and when to fart.
“This is an abomination,” commented one of the young members. “Look at that guy. He doesn’t know if he’s in Punksville or Skunksville. The only groups he’s effectively representing are the vegetable groups in your refrigerator. He tips over in his wheelchair every time the air conditioning system kicks on. This numb-dumb is the poster child for term limits…or in his case, the poster anti-child.”
Obviously, the dilemma is thinking that incumbents would vote for their own pink slips…particularly after they get used to the lavish life style, bolstered by the lobbyist gift parade. In the past, even the wide-eyed freshmen took about 14 nano-seconds to get sucked in.
But the new class is sick and tired of this business-as-usual crap, and vows to put a stop to the Rot-in-your-chair policy. They’re not sure how exactly to do it, but are starting with a national advertising campaign. The theme is unannounced yet, but sources say it will feature rocking chairs, squeaky bone noises, and dust…..lots and lots of dust.
