November 10th, 2009
Tear down this freaking wall
Many, many years ago on the East side of Bizarreville, an epidemic of weed growth overtook many of the grassy lawns. The weed outbreak spread from lawn to lawn to lawn very quickly, prompting fear among all Bizarreville citizens. At Town Hall meetings, people cried out for solutions. Finally Frank Gorbasluff suggested “Let’s build a wall. We’ll quarantine off the East side so the weed spores stay over there, and can’t migrate over here.” The people applauded the idea, and immediately started to work on building the wall. They also installed checkgates so that Easterners who had weed spores on their shoes could not enter the West side until they took a shower and fully cleansed shoes, socks, and other garments.
But over the years, the wall became a major political issue. segregating the Weedy Eastern Bizarrevillians from the Non-weedy Westerners. Easterners would call the other side Weed Virgins, while Westerners would respond back calling the other side Weed F#*^!#*$. As you can imagine, it became very divisive.
About 20 years ago, President Reagan was passing through Bizarreville on his way to a Bar-B-Q restaurant somewhere. Reagan heard about the rancor between East and West, and decided to pitch-in and help. He tracked down the originator of the whole wall idea, and said the famous words, “Mister Gorbasluff, tear down this wall. Go spray some freaking weed-killer over there, and that’ll take care of it all. Trust me.”
Of course, as all know, that’s exactly what Gorbasluff did, and the rest is history. They tore down the wall, double-sprayed with Weed Exterminator Plus, and green grass proliferated. And East shook hands with West, although both applied that hand disinfectant afterwards…hey, true reconciliation takes a little time.
