October 14th, 2025
New York Could Spin-off
With the City of New York wishing to move its political structure in the direction of Communism, with government control over property and business, the rest of the state of New York is scared of being sucked into this black hole. Most of upstate New York has historically been more conservative/traditional in its belief system. Unfortunately, however, the Upstaters’ voices have been drowned out by the bellyachers in the Big Apple… an apple that some say has a large worm in it… and have been unable to get a balanced set of laws and policies in the state because of the population bulge. They don’t see things changing in the future unless something drastic is done.
The Upstate New Yorkers have suggested that the City consider spinning off into a 51st state, separate from the rest of New York state. They could call themselves Marxylvania, in homage to Karl, or Groucho, or both. By doing this separation, they would free themselves to elect their own dictator, reinstate Woke principles to drive out exceptionalism, and provide equally bad housing for all.
Citizens of New Jersey say that if the spinoff happens, the “New York” NFL football teams would no longer be permitted to use the Meadowlands facility… unless they change their names to the New Jersey Giants and New Jersey Jets. Because both teams suck so badly, no one really seems to care one way or the other. Perhaps, decades from now, that issue could become relevant.
Some centrist New York city dwellers are afraid that the change could result in bread lines. But proponents of the change argue that the bread lines would actually be Bagel Lines, with a full variety of flavors and toppings.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction. Or are they?
