February 21st, 2021
Brain Parking
Sure, 
it was a formality, but one that was welcomed by the new House and Senate leadership. Yesterday, all the Democratic Senate and House members signed a pledge to park their brains at the door, and just vote however Pelosi and Schumer instructed them to vote. Each and every one of them signed the one-page pledge to ensure party unity and expedite the lawmaking process, in the face of Republican opposition on everything to be proposed. And, since their left-drooping brains are on the shallow-side anyway, there was no downside to the rubber stamping process… anything they would suggest would most likely be lame.
“I’m happy about it,” one junior Senator confided. “It used to be that my staff and I would spend hours and hours and hours reading all the mumbo-jumbo in these proposed laws. Frankly, I didn’t understand most of it… not just because of my low-IQ… but mostly because reading makes me sleepy. The fact is, we have professionals writing this stuff, they all do a good job supposably(sic). So what’s the diff? We’re all going to vote for it anyway. With the time I same, I can spend a lot more energy on my matchbook collection. You know, I have over 5 thousand of them on display in my Rec Room. Really.”
Republicans are not surprised by the pledge, knowing that the Democratic congresspeople have not thought for themselves for decades. “Once you forget how to think,” one Republican congressman mentioned, “it’s awfully hard to restart that stalled engine. Better to just park that sled.”
Pundits say that the only long-term solution to this brain-parking problem is term limits. But, unfortunately, that is unlikely to happen, since the dum-dums themselves would have to change their own rules. And, while these morons are pretty stupid when it comes to lawmaking, they are certainly savvy enough not to auto-pink slip themselves… especially considering they are not competent of doing much of anything else of value with their lives in the real world.
Disclaimer: All stories in Bizarreville are fiction, but some are under study for becoming real.
