February 8th, 2021
Joe’s Floodgates Open Up
As promised in his campaign, President Biden has opened the floodgates, bypassing all procedures, for ushering illegal immigrants into the country. His staff members believe there are millions of people who were unfairly stopped cold by the previous Administration because they had gang connections, criminal histories, sexual trafficking charges, and/or drug cartel links. “It’s just another example of how the previous Administration discriminated against individuals just because they were not ‘squeaky clean’ in some of their behaviors,” one senior official commented.
The Biden Administration also said they were going to enact new rules on deportation. Minor crimes such as simple assault, fraud, mugging, money laundering, tax evasion, or sex solicitation are not serious enough to warrant throwing a person or family back to the slums of their home country, where they would wreak even more havoc there. No, these minor violators will just be placed in counseling sessions to help them realize that their misbehavior history was not their fault.
ICE officials have been ordered to blast 74 holes in Trump’s new wall in order to facilitate the free flow of immigrants entering the country. The ICE members have been cautioned to smile and be nice to the immigrants. Any frowny faces or snarky attitudes could risk termination of their employment, or reassignment to a desk job in DC.
The President has also pledged to give instant citizenship status to the 15 million illegals in the country now. He has said, however, that he needs a little more time, because there could be a million or two hard-core criminals… convicted murderers, rapists, armed robbers, and lawn mowers who cut too short… who may or may not be eligible for the fast track.
There is much to be done to open things up, and the President’s team is raring to go. Meanwhile, the President is taking a nap.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, and some are also classified as Fake News.
