April 6th, 2010
Flunking the mid-term with a 17 minute response
The President, during his “Suck up to America” national tour was given a surprise pop mid-term exam by an Econ 101 instructor. It was a simple 1-question exam. She asked: With the incredibly horrible economic conditions and so many people out of work, do you think now would be a wise time to roll-out your proposed tax increases? Most onlookers thought this was an easy “A” for the President.
Of course, the correct response was a simple “No”. Just for good measure, 100 onlookers were given the chance to also answer the question, and 93% got it correct…even 5 pre-teens who did not even know how to spell Economics, and one well-trained poodle.
Unfortunately, however, the President did not provide the correct answer…he did not provide the simple “No” response. Normally, this would have earned him a flat “F”. But the President went on blabbering for a full 17 minutes in response to this simple yes/no question, rambling into off-tangent subjects such as How to keep jamming Health Care down throats, nationalizing the Porta-john businesses, and improving foreign relations with Mozambique. When he completed his ramble-thon, he asked the puzzled instructor whether he had answered her question.
The Test Board had no choice but to issue him an F-minus on this mid-term for “incoherency beyond obnoxion, and a profound lack of basic economic knowledge.” Sad.
But the Test Board reminded him that it is not too late. He still has an outside chance to Ace the final, and still get a passing grade. Clearly he will have to buckle down, stop eating CheetO’s, read his assigned Econ 101 material…not just look at the pictures or grab the Cliff Notes version of Basic Economics…and study a little harder. He must also avoid the temptation to read the “alternate” revisionist version of Economics authored by such crackerjacks as Homer Simpson, Keith Ubernerd, Michael Moore, or Pee Wee Herman…unless, of course, he wants to become the Millard Fillmore of the 21st Century. He will have to demonstrate that he has a grasp on what it takes to create real jobs, as opposed to the hypothetical virtual job creating stats that his flunkies keep feeding him.
He may be forced to dust off a Milton Friedman text or even listen to Bill O’Reilly bloviations to rinse out whatever Obamonomic toxins are clouding his thought process in order to get that passing grade. Fans are pulling for him.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, even the ones that seem so real.
