December 13th, 2009
Who wants to be a Marxist Millionaire?
…And now for your 12th question: Name the most important
political philosopher of the past 200 years: (a) John Lennon,
(b) Bono, (c) Mao Tse Tung, or (d) Karl Marx?
Hmm…tough question. All good answers. I’ll go
with (d) Karl Marx. Final answer.
Correct! Karl Marx, the originator of the Share the Wealth and
Punish the Hard-worker theory. You’re up to $200. Now for
your 13th question…for $205, name the ex-richest guy in the
country BEFORE we took all his money away: (a) Tom Cruise,
(b) Bill Gates, (c) Mayor Bloomberg, or (d) Tiger.
You said “Before” we took it away, right? Yeah, ok…
would have to go with (b) Bill Gates. Final answer.
Again correct! The guy who invented all that Microsoft crap
and kept forcing citizens to upgrade their software and buy
bigger freaking computers every 3 years, whether they needed
them or not. Confiscation of his great wealth was such a
pleasure. You’re at $205, are you ready to go for $208…?
Just one question, Comrade. The increments keep
getting smaller for every answer I get right.
Shouldn’t they increase for correct answers?
Ha, ha, ha, Son. So humorous. You kids love pulling the legs of
us old-timers. Shall we move on to question 14?
No, wait…seriously. This show is called Marxist
Millionaire. How will I ever get to a million this way?
Well, it’s this way, Son. The payoffs are according to a curve that,
I believe, was developed by the Great One himself. It’s called an
asymptote. You theoretically can get to a million dollars, but will
have to answer…I believe it’s 12.1 trillion questions correctly. To
be honest, questions do get tougher after the first couple hundred.
What? 12.1 trillion questions?? That’s as many
questions as there are dollars in the National Debt!
Yes. Isn’t that a funny coincidence. And ironic…that that same
level of National Debt helped usher in the spread of Marxism. Wow,
spooky! But let’s get on to question 14: What profession pays the
most: (a) garbage collector, (b) nucleur scientist, (c) CEO of Shanker
Motors, or (d) all paid the same…
