Posts Tagged ‘lawyers’

“Pique Inside” Tales of Obamaland

Due to the flood of requests to allow readers of Bizarreville to get a glimse inside our book, Tales of Obamaland, below is an excerpt from one of the 21 fables.  This fable is titled “Labelmania”, a fun satirical story about the medical breakthrough of the century and how corporate lawyers “helped” things along.  It’s just a portion of the fable…sorry, have to buy the book to get the rest of the story.

LABELMANIA

Deflabenheimer donned her coat
And hurried in her lab.
So anxious to observe the float
Of this new dab she’d fabbed.
 
Could this be breakthrough she had dreamed
For ’bout a thousand days?
The testing and investing schemed
To snake through this tough maze?
 
Eureka!  Chloro-keedron split
Extracted from Lean feed
And porogated omni-twit
From that deplungant seed!!
 
Deflab just found the magic key
A challenge centuries old
Discovered by sheer mastery
A cure for Common Cold.
 
Had taken years of diligence
Some rants and screams aloud
More hard work than intelligence
Tom Edison’d be proud.
 
It took a myriad of weeks
To do tests, get approval
And guard against sneak info leaks
In market tests in Shmooville.labelmania3
 
And when the testing was complete
One side-effect, one hitch
If gulp a pill in too much heat
Could cause arm pits to itch.
 
Found this outcome in 2 percent
Blew off as Peanut Stand
But sent it up to get consent
From bland old Legal land
 
     You must attach a warning tag
     To warn of armpit itch
     A glitch like this must twitch a flag
    To wag in every pitch.
 
But lawyers went on further still
Explored the chance of scratch
     What if there’s scratching willy-nill?
     What if some scratch could snatch?
 
    Then open skin for germ infect
     And if that scrape’s severe?
     They’ll need to get their scratchings checked
     Keep penicillin near.
 
     Put all this on the Warning Tag
     And note the chance of staph
     And just might cause the eyes to bag
     A groin pull if you laugh.
 
     Another Legal mind weighed-in
     What if the sweat glands swelled?
     If hyperthermia swayed in
     Cuz perspiration quelled?
 
     The patient could go into shock
     Get dizzy, slump, or faint
     Dehydrate like a desert rock
    Turn 13 shades of paint.
 

Get your own copy of Tales of Obamaland to find out how this crazy fable concludes.  Buy a copy of the book for a friend who is taking things just a little too seriously and needs to lighten up a bit.  Buy it for a lawyer.  Just click on Amazon.com or any of the other e-retailers in the sidebar to the right.  And thanks for your support for Bizarreville.