December 8th, 2009
Carbon footprint stains rug at Copenhagen
One of the first items on the agenda at the upcoming Copenhagen Climate Summit will be carbon footprints. It is expected to be a very emotionally-charged discussion, spurred by the list of impressive celebrities who will be attending…stately world leaders from all over the globe, renowned scientists, and a rich assortment of numb-nut goofballs from Hollywood. Critics have argued to keep the air-heads from La-la-land out of the summit, since they know absolutely, positively nothing about the subject. But others argue neither do all the other wankers who will be there…so what?
The crux of the discussions will be where to put these carbon footprints. A spokesman for the Hollywooders argued that they should be placed on Hollywood Boulevard right along side the Hollywood Walk of Fame footprints. “That way, tourists can see all the movie stars that have made this country great, right alongside the nasty mother f%*##&$ from the heavy polluting industries and power plants who have brought this country down with all their filth belching.”
Prince Charles is expected to be at the summit and may argue to put the footprints in Piccadilly Circus. “After all, England has had centuries of blackening the daytime sky, while you Yankees were still shooting buffaloes with bloody bows and arrows,” shouted a reporter from a London newspaper.
Third world countries are certain to get into the mix…with legitimate claims that they have never done anything whatsoever to control factory pollution, have no plans to do so in the future, and have actually executed people right in the street who have even suggested adopting environmental controls. One negative, however, would be that many of them have no sidewalks, so would have to plunk the footprints down in the mud, goop and manure.
Clearly it will be a bloodbath fight. But in the end, the issue will be decided by a Climate Summit Subcommittee, comprised of an assortment of enlightened grass sniffers and grass smokers. They will weigh the pros, weigh the cons…and probably weigh a few other things while they’re at it.
