January 12th, 2010
Harry Reid – quacking his way to a new job
When it was revealed that Harry Reid had uttered a racially-insensitive comment about then Candidate Obama during the 2008 campaign, he quickly got an audience with Obama to offer an apology. The shrill/quacky apology was taped and broadcast nationwide…and, as it turned out, the audio was picked up by the executives of the Aflac insurance company. Aflac had been looking for someone or something to replace their aging duck mascot, and associated worn-out advertising theme which had run its course into the ground. But they wanted a transitional approach to avoid pissing-off their duck-lover customer base, which surprisingly makes up a large percentage of total sales.
The think they found their man. Harry’s quack-barking apology excited the Aflac leaderships team, “He looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and…well, performs like a genuine quack to boot. What more could you ask for in a duck surrogate?”
Aflac, which supplies supplemental employee benefit insurance to various companies, sees another benefit of courting Harry…possibly getting the inside track on some of the new Health Care provisions. Aflac admitted that they had been nervous about their future in the upcoming Obamacare world. But they think if they suck-up to ole Harry, he might make Aflac supplemental coverage part of their freebie package to everyone.
Aflac hopes they can ink the deal within the next couple weeks, before other firms discover his amazing quacking talent. He was asked to quack “Aflac” a few times over the phone during the recent phone interview, and performed flawlessly. “I thought I was talking to a real duck, honestly,” commented Aflac’s executive duck recruiter. “He may be a jerkbag senator, but, my, what a duck talent!”
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, even the ones that sound like they could be real.
