June 20th, 2022
Schumer inciting violence
Senator Chuck Schumer had become frustrated with the lack of public interest lately in the ridiculous Pelosi pseudo-hearings related to the Capitol riot, and decided to try a little insurrection of his own, inciting citizens to protest and threaten Supreme Court Justices. He warned the Justices in a speech that “you will pay the price” for doing your job and following the Constitution. One crazy lunatic listened to the Senator, and attempted to do violence on Justice Kavanaugh.
“Sadly,” according to a spokesperson for Senator Schumer, “the brave individual was apprehended before he could carry out his protest. Now, come on, he wasn’t really going to shoot anyone. He was just carrying the pistol in case he got mugged along the way. Have you seen the crime statistics in DC lately?”
Schumer supporters insist that the Senator was not trying to incite violence, and that the “pay the price” comment merely related to the Over/Under prop bet on how many Justices would favor overturning Roe v. Wade. The line is 5.5, but money seems to be moving to the Under… much to Schumer’s chagrin. Schumer, according to sources went with the Over. And he hates losing.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, as far as we know.
