June 28th, 2022
District Attorney Recall
With the doubling of violent crime in the country’s large cities, it has become clear to everyone that the root cause of the problem is the negligent performance of the District Attorneys in the Cities. These morons have essentially stopped prosecuting criminals, claiming that the thugs are not to blame for their misbehaviors… that it is Society’s fault for allowing them to become thugs in the first place. Rather than punishing them, the DA’s have been providing the culprits with stimulus checks, extra food stamps, and Disney World tickets to compensate them for lives of mistreatment.
Citizens in some cities have begun to protest the lack of law & order enforcement, and have begun to Recall the errant DA’s, hoping to replace them with new DA’s who will ramp up prosecutions on violent offenders. Many citizens would like to return to the Three Strikes and You’re Out policy, rather than the current policy of 47 Strikes and We’ll See. The Recall actions are being challenged by the George Soros organization, who had put up millions of dollars in campaign financing for this brand of Progressive/Lenient-on-steroids District Attorney, and would hate to see all that money going down the drain.
“Science has shown that locking-up criminals just make them go crazier than they already were,” a Soros spokesman explained, while standing behind a heavy iron gate. “We must give them freedom to work out their anxieties, confront life’s realities, and purchase their preferred brand of dope. Otherwise, the problems will just keep getting worse.”
It is just a question of time before the rest of the Cities join the Recall movement, and throw out their lame DA’s. In the meantime, iron gate contractors report that business has never been better.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, but sound awfully real.
