bizarreville

A new book has been released by Bizarreville Press authored by Senator Ben Nelson of Nebraska, describing his painstaking journey from a career as a prestigious politician to a cheap skanky prostitute.  It is a career shift that few, if any, have made…and certainly no one has done it quite like Ben.  It’s great reading for the whole family and a lesson to the youngsters out there:  anything is truly possible if you have the will, a will that can overcome stupid things like scruples.

Many people are shocked and amazed that he would make such a change.  Others are amazed that anyone would pay for his services…whatever services those might be.  The intriguing story points out that the lives of politicians and prostitutes are not that much different from each other…both entailing much back-scratching, butt-scratching, and sucking…lots of sucking.  “You get what you pay for” is a theme that threads its way through the book, suggesting a thick wallet is the key to achieving high aspirations and/or getting a good ride.

The author points out that people make choices, and some of those choices can be difficult.  He brings in his personal experience voting for the Health Care Plan as one of the toughest decisions he’s ever had to make in his life.  Nelson admits that he knew that the Plan was pure malarky, destined to literally destroy the world’s greatest health system.  Furthermore, he clearly understood that it would bankrupt the country’s financial system, already rocketing down the highway on a crash course.  He acknowledges that his constituents back in Nebraska overwhelmingly disapproved of the stupid Plan, and showered him with emails and phone calls, suggesting he might want to consider the bizarre concept of actually representing his people.  “But, man, when they brought in those exotic dancing girls who just kept pouring me great Champagne and tickling me with those feathery things…well, it made me realize we must live for today…just like the song…don’t worry about tomorrow.  It was one of those epiphany moments.”

The book concludes that sometimes Leaders must make tough decisions, ignoring their instincts, dismissing hard facts, pushing aside advice from trusted colleagues, and totally blowing-off the will of the people.  “That’s why they pay us the big bucks…as the old cliche goes.”

Disclaimer:  All stories in Bizarreville are fiction.  Even the ones that sound like they could really be true.