December 10th, 2009
Mother of all dirt bags
Bizarreville leaders made another impassioned plea to the Pakistan leadership group to ask for their help in fighting Taliban in their border areas with Afghanistan. In particular, they would like to find one of the new up and coming Taliban leaders Oscummo bin Shizbak, who has been sending Facebook messages and instructions to Islamo-terrorists worldwide. Fortunately, not too many people have signed onto his Facebook because he is so darn butt ugly. Rumor is he’s now trying to set up his Facebook page without a face.
Pakistan leaders have refused to provide help in the past. “We don’t want to go in those freaking, nasty, allah-forsaken ghettos…nor any of those rabies-infested moldy caves,” said a Paki spokesman. “You kidding? If Oscummo or any of his revolting buddies shows up in Islamabad, we’ll cuff ’em and stuff ’em.” Syndicated reruns of Hawaii Five-O just made it to Pakistan.
But they’re not expecting Oscummo or his chums to show. Talibanners rarely venture into big cities. “They’re the Mother of all Dirt Bags. They never buy new clothes, or for that matter, even clean the clothes they wear.” They don’t bother with what they call capitalist luxuries like taking baths or other acts of personal hygiene. They can fart, and no one can even tell. “Soap, what’s that? More infidel foolishness and waste,” Oscummo once said addressing a crowd at an Afghanistan soccer game that he was referreeing.
Pakistan authorities reiterated that these creeps avoid cities like the bubonic plague (which ironically has recently outbroken in some of their filthy camps). “If you see a Taliban in a city, he’s probably there to suicide bomb something.”
