August 16th, 2015
Trump surges in polls
In a surprising development, Donald Trump has surged to a huge lead among Republican hopefuls in the 2016 Presidential nomination race. Recent polls show Trump favored by 22% of likely GOP voters, over double the polling numbers of Jeb Bush, Scott Walker, and the others in the crowded field. His performance in the recent first Republican debate was judged to be horrendous by pundits and various gallery sitters, but his numbers jumped 3 points the next day. Political experts are shaking their heads.
Some say that his recent rise was partly attributable to pissing off different groups of people. For example, he pledged to build an impenetrable wall at the Mexican border and would squeeze the 11 million illegal immigrants to high tail it out of Dodge before he invoked some sort of “You’re Fired” consequence to expedite matters. He even said he would personally use his considerable persuasive skills to make the Mexicans pay for the wall, but might allow them to retain his construction business to do the work at a special discount rate.
Trump would get tough on the Chinese for dumping their cheap products into the US, and force high tariffs on tee-shirts, crappy trinkets, and underwear. He said he would personally go Commando, if necessary, to make the point.
He would plan to anger environmentalists by scaling back regulations and outlawing any further study of so-called global warming, or global cooling, or whatever temperature direction is being dreamed up by faux-scientists. He would advocate a re-training program for ex-environmentalists to help them learn how to do real work.
Trump has gotten world leaders concerned by his expressing that the US needs to get tough. He has said that they need to get rid of stupid people who are in critical leadership roles. Some leaders are nervously worried that those comments are aimed directly at them.
It seems the more people he gets riled, the higher his poll numbers rise.
Other candidates are taking note, and are strategizing with their political consultants on how to mold their own piss-off campaigns. They recognize that this approach is hitting a nerve with the voting public, and that means votes. One campaign chairman, who wished to remain anonymous, said that he had his whole staff working on lists of various groups, whether they be related to physical traits, ethnicity, orientation, disorientation, or special interest, and concocting ideas that would set them off, big-time.
“The trick is not just picking the right group to anger, but picking the particular messages that will really tick them off,” said the chairman. “Selecting a great target, but splashing them with a milky jab could backfire. And that could mean curtains for a campaign.”
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction. If any eventually become true, that would just be coincidence.
