February 20th, 2010
Protecting the unobstructed view of Bizarreville
Last week, Limburger Waste Company announced plans to build a Mt. Trashmore type landfill at the old Skunksville Farms property. Some citizens have complained that, if they do this, it will totally block the view of the famous “Bizarreville” sign, a beloved tourist attraction for visitors. Leaders of the Tourism Bureau say that there is not much else to see or do in Bizarreville, so the sign “…is one of the few things we’ve got. Plus, the landfill would stink.”
An ad hoc committee has formed to try and block the issuance of the land use permit that Limburger is trying to obtain. The group is trying to attract rich millionaire movie star types to aid in their efforts. They say that this is just the type of wheel-spinning goof-ball cause that would appeal to these prima donnas in between their red carpet doink-oramas.
But they may ask the hoidy toidy set to also chip in some cash. The committee would like to be able to buy the Skunksville land and turn it into a park. A couple of the members even took the initiative to go buy a swingset, plop it down at Skunksville, and have their kids play on it as a pre-emptive photo op. Unfortunately, they stuck the swingset on the side of a steep hill, and 2 of the kids flew off, tumbled down the hill, and whacked their heads pretty hard while the cameras were rolling.
Meanwhile, Limburger has stated that they will make beauty enhancements to the Mt. Trashmore after it fills up…grassy lands, trees, the whole bit. In fact, they offered to relocate/transplant the Bizarreville sign to their new landfill mountain, squeezed right in between the methane recovery spigots…even add black-light spotlights so tourists can see the Bizarreville sign at night.
The Committee has not been convinced, and has pointed out that the seepage from the landfill would probably discolor the Bizarreville sign blocks, and ultimately dissolve them altogether. They want to stop Limburger, and plan to fight to the bitter end.
Limburger has taken a practical approach to the matter. They say that they might have to consider relocating the landfill to an alternative piece of property… right behind the Ad Hoc Committee chairman’s home, if this “bitter end” deal doesn’t work out.
