August 23rd, 2009
Frown Hall meeting
The good citizens of Bizarreville dragged their weary cans into the much anticipated Town Hall meeting to discuss Odrama-care last night. Congressman Rankeester adroitly fielded questions like an old putz juggling medicine balls with one hand tied behind his back.
Elmer Scroof asked: “What about them so-called Death panels?”
Rankeester replied: “I’m for them. Let’s face it, when it’s time to go, it’s time to go.”
Scroof said: “What about you? You had a freakin’ quad-bypass a year ago. What if some glorified restroom attendent decided you weren’t worth 2 squirts of dog pee, and let you just have a thumper-clutcher, and pfffft….gone. What about that, Jack?”
Rankeester replied: “You obviously have not taken the time to be thorough before making such an uninformed comment as this. Admit it…you farted-off reading the bill, didn’t you? You and all your crazy nutbag lunatic friends are here just to create ficticious perversions of this fine bill, this crafted work of art. If you had taken one lousy weekend to read the bill, you surely would have known that it does not apply to congresspeople. Tsk, tsk.”
Then old Mrs. Shmelker blurted out: “You people are trying to ruin the health of all our grandchildren with this new program…what do you call it…McPathetic Care, of one-size fits all? They won’t ever get any real care cuz of the long waiting lines.”
But Rankeester just laughed and snorted back: “These kids are already hard-wired to stand in endless long lines. Just look at the lines at the Bizarro-Land theme park. They’ll stand in line for hours just for 1 ride on the Skrote Floater roller coaster, or the Desnotter Simulator. C’mon now. We’ll just give old Doc Quackenheimer’s office a cool, thrill name like the Navel Jerker, and line ’em up in the cattle gates…Mooo…Mooo. Next?
The Town Hall meeting seemed to run out of steam at that point, and all went home for their evening soaks.
