July 12th, 2021
White House Buzz
The military was put on special alert last week when a strange buzzing sound emanated from the White House. At first, staff members believed it was a swarm of killer bees, whose eggs may have been sneakily planted by the previous Administration before their departure. Etymologists were quickly brought in, but were unable to find any killer bees, or any other bees for that matter.
Next, they suspected that there could be an invasion underway by the Chainsaw Liberation Army, a fringe left-wing environmental group opposed to the cutting of any trees. The President had promised a total ban on tree-cutting during his 2020 campaign, that had gained the support of tree-huggers across the nation. Thus far, however, he had done nothing to stop sawmills and paper companies from daily harvests. All areas of the White House were checked; no chainsaws were found.
Finally, the White House Janitor was able to solve the mystery. He had inadvertently entered the Private Residence, and saw the President sleeping on the job. Further investigation found the Vice President, the entire Presidential Cabinet, most of the Secret Service and senior staff members similarly sawing logs, in order to show their full support of the President, and follow his lead.
The Janitor was able to grab an air horn in the supplies closet, and blasted it to wake up the dozers. The buzzing stopped at that time, and the military was able to stand down.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, at least when originally reported.
