November 10th, 2026
Bring on Cuba
With the movement in the country toward Democratic Socialism, the political leadership in Cuba has taken interest. President Miguel Diaz-Canel is rumored to have begun mentioning the idea of Cuba becoming the 51st state in the Union. He says that his country’s citizens can greatly help our people make the transition to this new form of government, where benefits and misery are equally shared by all people, and everyone has an equal chance of getting their daily loaf of bread.
Mr. Diaz-Canel has said that he has already had conversations with prominent members of the Socialist movement in the USA, and has even provided some secret financial support to help them get elected. He congratulates us on getting our national media onboard with Communist and Socialist principles. “It is usually so difficult to get newspapers and TV reporters aligned with socialism. They often have objective journalists that are so hardheaded. It’s good to see that the USA has managed to solve that problem, and somehow gotten your news agencies fully brainwashed. Congratulations, but don’t let them slide back into telling the truth, or you’ll surely be sorry.”
Some opponents of the Cuba-51 initiative are worried that if we let Cuba in, then the next thing you know, Haiti will want in. No one wants Haiti, but a growing number of illegal Haitians in the country could put pressure on leadership to make Haiti #52. Many young Democrats are jumping on the Haiti-52 bandwagon, because they know all these people would vote Democratic once they’re ensconced on the welfare rolls. Diaz-Canel has tried to discourage the Haitian movement. “Let’s get Cuba-51 done first. We can always look at Haiti-52 later.”
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, but some are getting close to becoming true.
