April 13th, 2021
Executive Order to eliminate one of the Ten Commandments
The President announced that he just signed an Executive Order that immediately cancels one of the Ten Commandments, the one that prohibits bearing false witness against your neighbor. By doing this, he cuts the Commandments down to Nine. He has requested a $37 billion budget to make changes to Bibles, posters, signs, wall hangings, paintings, and stone tablets.
“The Commandment dealing with Lying is an ancient concept developed thousands of years ago,” the President stated. “It no longer applies to salvation in the modern progressive world that we now live in. And, for that matter, it is… wait a minute, I lost my train of thought. Oh well, never mind, you know what I mean… What were we talking about again?”
Of course, the President has a rich, 60-year history of lying. He has been forced to admit to lying an estimated 46 thousand times, as he knelt in the confessional. His latest string of lying about the horrendous situation at the Mexican border, the specifics of the new Georgia Voter Fraud Elimination law, the content of his socialist-inspired economic program, his personal role in making the COVID vaccine happen, and the demented state of his own mental health has become problematic with more and more citizens. He has continued to say, “What’s the big deal? Everyone lies. Everyone knows that politicians lie. Here’s the deal: lie and get elected; tell the truth and lose. Simple math, people.”
When asked about modifying such an important historical document, the President said that everything needs an update now and then.
Some will remember former President Clinton had once tried to eliminate the Adultery Commandment, but got too much pushback from staff members who were believers in fidelity.
Insiders say that eliminating the No Lying Commandment and taking it out of the salvation equation takes the pressure off, and will allow him even more freedom to belt out despicable untruths, blatant deceits, dishonest orders, and bizarre falsehoods… all necessary to make his agenda palatable to the public.
“Joe is the best liar we have in our Party,” one Insider said. “We want him to feel more comfortable, and put his mind at ease… especially as he gets closer to… well, closer to you-know-what… Beeeeeepppppp.”
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, and have not been approved by anyone important.
