May 23rd, 2020
Michigan Governor Under Water
The recent dam failure in the Midland, Michigan area has put the state in serious turmoil, according to Governor Whitmer. The catastrophic dam failure and associated flooding comes at a bad time, when the governor recently extended the mandatory shelter-in-place order. Fortunately, there have been no injuries thus far from the flooding.
Many residents, complying with the stay-at-home directive, have been able to climb on top of their roofs if they have 2-story homes. But the families with ranch homes or double-wide trailers in the flood areas have had to resort to manning their boats, and thus ignoring the stay-home rule. The governor recognized that these are extraordinary times, and spoke out that boaters would not be penalized, as long as they tie-off to the tops of their chimneys or satellite dishes. The State Police would not be issuing citations to these particular flood victims, and would go back to writing-up citizens for illegally buying non-essential mulch, shrubs, and plant food at home improvement stores.
The poor governor is at her Whit’s End, so to speak, and has privately indicated that dealing with all these problems was not what she bargained for when she decided to run for governor. She was very upset when hundreds of armed militia members arrived at the State Capitol, protesting her unilateral lock-down restrictions. When the President suggested she try to “put out the fire,” she instructed the National Guard to open up on the protestors with fire hoses. She later said that the President’s advice did not help one bit.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, just like most national news stories.
