April 5th, 2018
Tariffs
The recent announcement that the U.S. will put a 50 percent tariff on socks imported from China has put the country into an unexpected predicament. Citizens were expecting some sort of retaliation but were not anticipating that Chinese manufacturers would simply stop all sock production. Egads.
In almost no time, this created a nationwide sock shortage and ensuing crisis. People are now having to wear their socks for 3, 4, sometimes 5 days in row. Some have resorted to rolling deodorant on the bottoms of their feet to help combat the stench, while others are going sock-commando and dealing with the ensuing blisters. Many Hollywooders, who had already stopped wearing socks with their suits at Award shows, have said they may start wearing socks, as a means of protest.
The U.S. is considering banning the impact of Fortune Cookies as further retaliation, which would, of course, cripple the Chinese food takeout business in America. Restaurant owners have said that people here will not patronize, if the cookies are not included in the bag. The Chinese spokesman has responded by saying, “Fine, let them eat gyros.”
As the rhetoric continues to heat up, both sides are hoping that negotiations can quickly resolve the problems before wontons hit the fan, or the production curtailments extend to tighty-whities. That latter fear alone has convinced negotiators that their opponents plan to play hard ball.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, at least so far.
