The right to be morons: the unvaccinated
The COVID vaccination rate appears to be plateauing around 70 percent, leaving 30 percent of the adult population steadfastly refusing to accept vaccines. And now, with the emergence of the dangerous Delta variant, hospital admissions have spiked for these unvaccinated hardheads, who still believe the vaccines are unproven in spite of overwhelming data to the contrary. Communities across the nation are reinstating mask requirements, even for the vaccinated people. Many people are outraged, and feel that there should be mandatory vaccination requirements instituted for the morons who currently refuse the shots, rather than go backwards on masks.
The Bizarreville Civil Liberties Union (BCLU) has come forward, reminding us that people in this country have the constitutional right to be morons. It is written, according to the BCLU, in one of the footnotes buried in the Bill of Rights… a footnote that is often not printed in books because the font is so small. It reads:
“No federal, state, or local government shall have the right to prevent citizens from being morons. Congress shall make no law restricting moronic freedoms, or limiting people’s fundamental right to be stupid.”
The BCLU also notes that the first draft of the Declaration of Independence originally had the phrase: “…endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, so long as it did not entail being a moron…”
Of course, that last portion was changed in the final draft, as we all know. Many historians believe that if the founders would have seen this massive reluctance to take a proven COVID vaccine to help the health of the nation, they would have left the moron thing in the finished document.
Many hospitals are now building Moron Wings to address the new COVID crisis, while also realizing that there will be other epidemics/pandemics in the future that will require medical treatment for unvaccinated morons. They plan to staff these wings with people who flunked out of medical school, but had at least gained some medical knowledge along the way. Close enough for the patients in this wing.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, especially the part about wishful footnotes in historical documents.
This entry was posted on Friday, July 30th, 2021 at 7:50 pm and is filed under Life in Bizarreville. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
