November 28th, 2009
China offering bank card for national debt
The Chinese just announced that they will offer Bizarreville a newly-issued credit card to make it easier and convenient to make payments on the national debt. As part of the package, the system will allow payments on-line from any Bizarreville Treasury computer, with a simple “Click and Doink” user-friendly method.
China has suggested, as a first step, transferring the $11 trillion (oops, just went over $12 trillion) National Debt to the card with no transfer fee. They argue that rather than having T-bills spread across such a wide base, why not just do a bill consolidator loan into one central spot? “Just like the poor shmuck who has a half-dozen personal loans who’s getting eaten up with minimum charges, and finally consolidates them into one huge home equity loan. Just the sensible thing to do, right?”
The Chinese will offer low monthly minimum payment, in exchange for a slightly higher interest rate. As a teaser, they will offer a 6.1% APR rate for the first six months, but then it will go up to 11.0% APR afterward. Some Bizarrvillians were rebuffed initially at this high rate, but the Chinese said it was “…fixed for 20 years irregardless of any impending world financial meltdown. In time…you’ll see.”
The Chinese are also offering a Rewards Points program with the new card. The catalog has pages and pages of prizes, some pretty nice, but some pretty pathetic. Lousy ones include several hundred thousand used Chinese military uniforms, and a 70’s-era Russian built “fixer-upper special” fighter jet. Example of a good prizes include multiple-night stays at the new Macau casinos with $100 free seed gambling dollars.
Bizarreville economists probed into the details of the card, then asked that there be no prepayment penalty. The Chinese busted out laughing uncontrollably at that notion. After 12 minutes of this laugh-fest, the top Chinese economist said, “Sure. No problem.”
