November 12th, 2009
To get Health care passage, Congress considers the Beer amendment
Congressman Burfman, supported overwhelmingly by his constituents, is pressing hard for passage of his Beer Amendment in the Health Care bill. The Beer Amendment would classify beer as a prescription medication under the auspices of the FDA.
Initially, many were against the concept of having beer under federal authority…the oversight, the bureaucrazy, the numbskull rules and regulations, etc. But Burfman explained how it would work under the new Health Care plan.
“Here’s how it would work. You go to your family doctor, and claim that you’re totally stressed-out, causing palpitations, tremors, headaches, whatever. The Doc prescribes beer…and not some wimpy “Light” beer, but a full-bodied pale ale…and makes the prescription to specify taking one six-pack per day. Now here’ s where the fun comes in. You go to the mail order prescription firm, and get a 90-day supply for a lousy $10 co-pay. Huh?? That’s right!! You get 540 premium pale ales, over 22 cases of brewskies for one sawbuck. I believe that comes to 2 cents per beer, if my math is correct. Now is this an idea we can all find some common ground on? Can we cross the aisle, shake hands on this?”
The Budget Office is running the numbers. But their preliminary analysis is that this would be a hell of a lot cheaper than some of the so-called “regular” nervous/anxiety meds priced out the wazoo. It appears they will give it the green light.
Meanwhile, some of the old fogies in the Bizarreville Congress object that this whole thing is totally ridiculous, absurd, and out of the question, “Beer medicine…baaaah.” But Burfman replies, “Why not a Beer Amendment? There’s a lot more stupid stuff in the freaking Health Care bill than the Beer Amendment.”
